06 September 2013

FWS News Feed: The 2014 ROBOCOP Remake Trailer...Oh, dear god, NO!

1987 was a good year for me. I was eleven, and very much into video games, taking Martial Arts, and extremely violent action movies of the time. ROBOCOP would come out that year, and the vast majority of my friends couldn't see because of the strong R rating (it was originally X), and most parents wouldn't touch a movie called "robocop". Since my brother and I both wanted to see this, my father gave in and told me I had to raise my math grade (I fucking hate math, BTW), and that was all I needed. I was one of those rare kids that got to see ROBOCOP in the theater, and I loved this movie, and I still do. That is why it is so hard to see this new remake trailer for that much beloved gem of 1980's cinema, because ROBOCOP didn't need a godsdamn remake. Everyone on that 1987 movie turned in their A game, skillfully mixing black comedy, extreme violence, crime, loss, and drug use into one of the most interesting sci-fi movies of the 1980's. This may be Paul Verhoeven's finest work. I also greatly enjoyed the performances of nearly every actor on this film, especially Peter Weller and Kurtwood Smith. I also find it ironic that Detroit has fallen and the city is eyeballing a plan similar to Delta City from the film.
Okay, why am I talking so much about the original film? Because this remake looks soulless and fake as a hooker's smile...but, the greatest reason (I'll say it again)it is completely unneeded! Hollywood has been strip-mining the remake genre for awhile now, because they think it equals safe return on their money, and most of us fans, think it is equal to raping of your childhood memories....yeah, I'm looking at you J.J. Abrams! I'll relent, and say that that some remakes/reboots work, Batman and Superman are two prime examples. However, ROBOCOP is not one. Remake movies that need it, like 1998's Soldier, not beloved classics...did the remake ROBOCOP people not see the recent Total Recall film? Seriously, I watched this trailer and I knew what the movie was about in less than two minutes, and it is not as good as the original. So what there will be improved SFX and name-brand actors? If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and this ROBOCOP remake seems not to work. After all, even back-in-the-day, the sequels and other projects with the ROBOCOP name didn't work, either. While watch the trailer, Robocop's new black armor and him on a motorcycle remains me of that forgotten 1980's TV ABC show Street Hawk and that was not the best work ABC has ever turned out.  Granted, the addition of urban law enforcement drones is also a nice touch, along with the improved ED-209, but it is too little originality in an completely unneeded film remake. Nice going, dumbass!


  1. Just by the trailer alone they seem to have stripped out the dark humour and satire that was so important for the original.

    This just looks like a stock sci-fi action flick.

  2. Christopher PhoenixSeptember 6, 2013 at 8:51 PM

    I absolutely agree, William, Hollywood has been doing the remake genera to death lately... and it is getting really boring. What Hollywood needs is someone with the courage to make new stories, but they would rather bet on redoing something that already was popular in hope of cashing in on the fan-base. They don't seem to notice that all the best successes came from filmmakers who followed their own path- take Lucas and STAR WARS as an example.

    I love Robocop, but flashy tacticool black armor and drones aside, this new Robocop is just an example of Hollywood literally cannibalizing itself. Like someone gnawing at their own arm.

    They've been threatening to reboot one of my very favorite horror films, Hellraiser, for some time too. As Pinhead would say, "NO!!!" No? "NO!! It is not remakes that call us but desire!" :D

  3. Could not agree more.Robocop its great as it is.By the way,i DO remember Streethawk,it was terrible...
    Up FWS!

  4. Yes, because Star Trek was thriving after the cancellation of Enterprise and the flop that was Nemesis.

    Oh wait, Star Trek was dead, buried, and laughed at that point. It was exhausted creatively, and even fans were jaded after failure after failure.

    Whatever flaws Abrams has (like LOST and later seasons of Alias), he managed to take a dead franchise, breathe life into it, and get people who would have never bothered to watch Trek to check it out. People may claim it has ruined their childhood, but that was already done by Braga and Brannon by letting Trek die an indignant death.

    Trek needed a new voice, a new direction to portray it's future. People are tried of the past - they wanted something new. Ironically, that took a reboot (which I tire of as well).

    If people don't like it, fine. But living in a past, wallowing in the same conventions, is not going to go anywhere. nutrek may have blasted the conventional for Trek, but it's spirit lives on, stronger than ever.

  5. NuTrek bothers me for one main reason, it sells Trek like a cheap whore to the masses. I will agree that prior to the NuTrek, Star Trek was nearly dead, and yes, NuTrek did jump start a new wave of Trek-love. Hell, I saw a Trek shirt at Target yesterday!
    A reboot with remake of the TOS crew and idea was okay, but, I just didn't care for the way it was done at all. Most the NuTrek movies are not really Trek, and are something different. I know people that love ALIEN and not ALIENS...so go figure.
    I always felt that Enterprise could have been the retake of Trek back to its roots, but the core fans wouldn't have it, but somehow Voyager stayed on the air for season after season. The ending two-parter was rather good, actually.
    You touched on a debate in geek circles right now. New vs. Old. NuTrek is the lastest in a debate between fans of the original 1970's Battlestar Galactica, and the newer series, the debate between fans of the Old Who and the New Who, and now, we've got Trek.
    For me, I gave on Trek a long time ago, and I am a recovering Trekkie. When the fans killed off Enterprise, I had to stop, and turned to Military sci-fi, that would led to the founding of these very blog.